2019 is the year of being a selfish reader. This is the year of “ME” reading. This year I am focusing heavily on reading things that I want to read, instead of worrying about what I feel others want from me on this blog. This, for the first time, isn’t just talk. I am ignoring recommendations, I am ignoring ARCs, I am ignoring being told what I am supposed to do as a blogger. In other words, I am throwing out the rules that I have created for myself regarding blogging!
What brought this on? I was talking to my bestie, Jackie from bookwormcafe, about books. This is not unusual for us. We talk pretty much about everything under the sun. Well, during this discussion it got me to look at my GoodReads list of books that I had read for 2018. I had read roughly 52 books during the year. I went through, using the criteria that it could not be a book that I was pushed into reading or one that I felt I had read just to have content for this blog and you know what I was floored by? I had read literally out of those 52 books, 2 books for enjoyment. 2 books because I personally wanted to read them. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy some of those other 50 books, but they didn’t originate from my own desire or want to read them. I analyzed my last year of reading and recognized I kept putting off reading books. Instead of reading, I would watch TV, goof online, or anything else to avoid reading books that I hadn’t chosen. This kept sending me down a rabbit hole. A rabbit hole to try to get content so people would still come here. Desperation does not look cute on anyone, I recognize that now. For me, this year is about washing some of that stank off me. Not worrying about others so much. Kinda “doing me” if that makes sense.
One of the things that I have stopped myself from doing this last year was reading series books that I thought others wouldn’t want to read reviews of. This is why I am reading 3 books from my childhood that I have been wanting to read for awhile. I want to complete them and own all the copies of the series as well. These series are:
Yes, I want to read “Fear Street”, “The Babysitters Club”, and “Sweet Valley High” starting with this next year. Most of these will not be finished in 2019 because they are rather lengthy series and I do not own currently all of the books in the series. My book purchasing will be focused on getting and finishing out these series. But shouldn’t I want new release books? More umm popular books? No, I want these and that is totally allowed! Yes, I will review these books and they may not become my most popular reviews. I don’t care though. I love and appreciate those that come to read my reviews, but there does come a point where I have to enjoy what I am reading. I have to read because I want to read the book. I have to find my enjoyment with reading. I can’t keep worrying about if little Becky from this or that blog is going to love my content. This has to be something I want to do, the books have to be ones I want to read. Screw “popularity.”
With this screw popularity in mind, I am doing a regular feature on my blog, which the above books will be part of, called “For Me Reads”. Reviews under this title will be ones that I am not even sure anyone else cares about, but that I personally have been wanting to read, reread, or review for no other purpose than because I want to. There are 2 other book series that I know will fit into this category:
2019 is listening to myself and being myself. I have lost myself and my voice in some ways through feeling I have to make other bloggers like me. Feeling always inferior to most or that I am not a part of the community. The reality is that if I am posting content about book blogging, then I am a part of the book blogging community. I am getting my mind to understand that now. Part of recognizing what I enjoy and want to do with my blog is recognizing I personally love writing reviews. I love sharing my opinion on stuff. Be it comics, movies, television shows, or books. I recognize that this is because I never truly expressed my opinions for a vast majority of my life. I was in a constant state of worrying if someone else would hurt me or harm me that I lost the ability to enjoy what I want to do, to relax, to enjoy my own life. My opinion, I recognize, is that I like reviews the most. I want to be a review blog, not a singular type of blog. This is why the vast majority of my posts will be reviews in 2019. I will also be participating in Music Monday and First Line Friday during 2019. I feel that these are wonderful ways to include myself into the community a bit more.
I also have a few “self challenges” for this next year. One is regarding my reading. This is reading some other books that I have owned for awhile, primarily series books, nonfiction books, and classics. You can see the page here. You will notice a “Wild Card” category, which is so I can have a place for if I do want to participate in a buddy read, group read, or read an ARC (where I would get one I have no idea, but one never knows). I am holding myself accountable for this by breaking up what my TBR for the challenge is each month and then after I have read it, I want to update the picture with an X over it and the date read. The other challenge is in regards to movies and television. I have selected several movies and 4 television shows that I would like to watch or try to get finished in 2019. I recognize that this challenge may go over since one of the series that I want to get through had 12 seasons of over 20 episodes. This is going to take me awhile. You can see the movies and television shows I selected here.
I want to be clear, these are NOT “New Year Resolutions”, but instead see all of this as a cleansing. A reopening of this blog, if you will. A chance to make changes, refocus, and be more authentic in my reading, in my watching, in my blogging. Join me on this year of journey. This year of sharing with you my life, my reading, and everything in between. I appreciate every single one of you that read my words. You have all my love and respect.
2019 is a new year, a new me, and a new opportunity to be true to myself. What are your goals for 2019?